I woke up early, before anyone else. It was still dark outside.
I nursed Jack in the quiet silence in my parents living room.
It wasn't long before my mom came padding out of her bedroom,
whispering "goodmorning" and kissing the top of my head.
I felt so calm. I didn't expect to.
I also didn't expect the perfect & peaceful night sleep I had,
and was grateful for the rested feeling that had settled into my bones.
I handed Jack over to his grandma and slipped downstairs for a quick shower.
My sisters came busting into the bathroom mid leg-shave singing loudly,
"We're going to the chapel and we're gonna get marrrrrrrried!"
The day was here.
After many hours at the salon, nibbling on fruit, laughing with all of my favorite girls,
getting beautiful,
I sat as still as possible as my cousin created my dream wedding hair and perfected my lipstick.
I'll never forget the moment my veil was placed carefully on top of my head.
"Holy shit - I'm a bride!" was what ran through my head.
and we all started laughing to stop the tears that threatened to ruin my perfect mascara!
I took a quiet moment to pump (so glamorous)
& rest for 20 minutes before the rest of the day came cascading down on me.
The early afternoon was a bustle of bridesmaids getting dressed
and anxiety building as my mom took 100 YEARS to get ready/come help me get my dress on.
I. was. ready.
That is where we had been hiding the dress & for whatever reason we just stayed there.
It's a hilarious backdrop to one of the most precious moments shared between my mother & I.
before boarding the trolly waiting outside of the house.
I had to ask everyone I saw how John was.
Was he nervous? Calm? Sweating like crazy???
I couldn't wait to see him!
The smile on my face was a permanent tattoo of bliss.
my aunt happily ushered off each bridesmaid, one by one.
I crouched behind a staircase and listened to the beautiful music serenading the perfection.
It was time.
My daddy took my arm and we made our way to the end of the aisle.
There may have been 150+ people staring at me, but all I saw was John.
The face I had pictured in my dreams.
The dreams I had had of my wedding day for as long as I can remember.
I have never been more in a moment,
I have never felt the impact of my words resound so deeply into my being.
Each promise was a brand on my heart,
bonding me to the man I couldn't see one second of my life without.
I have never felt more blessed or alive.
One year later these memories are still so vibrant.
I know that as each year passes they will become more fuzzy,
less real and more dreamlike.
I couldn't feel more blessed in my marriage.
How lucky am I?
We are growing, we are learning, I hope we always will!
Honey, thank you for being there every morning and every night. Thank you for being my constant. I love you more than I did one year ago. Happy anniversary!
