Yesterday I planned to block off our morning/early afternoon for a trip to the local playground, a "picnic" lunch, and some ice cream. I would love to say I thought up this special little adventure all on my own, but in reality it was a mom's group "meet up".
I tried the whole mom group thing when we first moved here. But Jack was too little to participate in most of the activities so it was a bust. This summer I thought it would be a great way to get us out and doing stuff when I am stumped/bored/longing for adult conversation.
So, yesterday... the "event" started at 10. I figured we could show up between 10:30 and 11, you know, fashionably late and all. But I dragged my feet. Excuse my language, but that shit is awkward. I really didn't want to go. I knew I should go, but, well, staying in my sweats sounded better.
I finally forced myself to get ready, pack a lunch for Jack and load into the car at 10 to noon. You should all be shocked that by the time I got there the playground was swamped (hello 80 degree weather in May in MICHIGAN). I couldn't tell who was the mom's group and who was "normal".
I followed Jack around the playground awkwardly toting my purse and his lunch bag. I would spot a potential "mom friend" and immediately become the most awkward human you have ever met. At one point I was standing next to another mom and Jack slammed his head into a metal pole and fell flat on his back. The mom next to me said "Oh!" all concerned like and I started laughing. Yup, I laughed. Then said, "Might as well laugh and see if he decides it's worth crying about." He didn't think it was worth it and moved on, and so did the other mom. Whomp, whomp.
Making friends really makes me uncomfortable. I don't know why. I think I'm fine if I already know somebody, but on my own I just can't make it click. I will keep trying. Perhaps I will go on time to the next group meeting... but until then, I'll just be awkward mom in the corner- heyyyyyyyy
Lets hope Jack has better social skills than his mother.