11.27.2012

Transition.

Good morning!

If you are here from Becky's, you can learn more about me
here, here, here, & here.

I've been in a reflecting mood lately.
Blame it on the holidays or the end of the semester, but I can't help but count my blessings lately.
I also can't help but observe all the changes my life has made in two years.

Okay, okay, last year was the BIG year of change.
Graduated college.
Had a baby.
Married the love of my life...
It's hard not to feel like the current changes in my life are still being overshadowed by those three.

But the changes right now are just as real.
I never knew just how much returning to school was going to turn things upside down.

My mom told John and I this past week that we need to
pat ourselves on the back every once & a while.
But when people tell us how great of a job we are doing, or wonder "how are you doing it all?"
We just shrug our shoulders.
It doesn't feel like anything special, this is just "life".

And does the craziness ever stop?
Is being a working mom of one any different than being a grad student mama of one?
Yes, I know it will be different, but will it be "easier".
Are people still going to be in awe that we are "surviving"?

Maybe it's because we are young.
Although 23 is starting to feel older and older to me each day.
Maybe it's the circumstances.
We started out as a "non traditional" family (Although that stigma still makes me cringe).

I know that I am ranting but I just feel like life is in such a transitional phase right now.
And I cannot stop wanting more.

Another baby.
A house.
To be done with school.

I know I am incredibly ungrateful for thinking I have the right to "want" when my life is so full.

But it is hard to stay present when life is so fluid right now.
There isn't one thing that is concrete.
And more changes are coming.

It's hard not to let me mind wander to the "could be" and the "if" and the "when"
Sometimes I have to remind myself to stay in the moment.

I owe it to Jack.
To my ever-changing, ever-growing, beautiful little boy.
I will never get these days back with him.
He won't be this age forever...

I also owe it to my husband.
The guy that wakes up earlier than anyone should have to,
goes to work all day to be the SOLE provider for this family,
and comes home to cook dinner, do dishes, and be the BEST dad ever.
I know, I know, I married Superman. 
It's not fair of me to want more when he is working so hard for what we already have.

For now I just need to be grateful for this life. This WONDERFUL life.
I need to focus on my daily growth! I am ever-changing too...
I want to be the best wife. The best mom. The best social worker... so many things.

Sometimes I just need to take a moment (or 10) to remind myself of that.

9 comments:

Jessie said...

Thanks for this post. I've totally been feeling the same way lately, so you are not alone!
Thanks for the reminder to take a moment ( or ten).

Jessie

Katie_B said...

I think we always need to step back and take a moment and be thankful. You are doing it all! I am not married, in a relationship or have a kid and sometimes I get overwhelmed. I cannot imagine how you feel once and awhile!
From a fellow Michigan blogger--pat yourself on the back!

Jamie D said...

I completed grad school not too long ago. It's so weird that when you are in grad school, it's such a struggle. Since I've been out of grad school, I actually miss it... Anyway, as a new blogger, I also think you deserve a pat on the back!!

Angie said...

I ran across your Blog from Becky's and had to comment as I can tell from reading a few posts we have both gone through some of the same things! I just graduated with my Masters in Social Work last December. Cant believe its been almost a year! I have 3 kids, 8 yr old step son, 6 yr old son and 3 yr old daughter. I found out I was prego with my son the first semester of undergrad. I took a year off after that and then started Grad School while I was 36 weeks prego with my daughter. All while working too! I totally understand what you are going through juggling school and mommyhood. I look back on it now and think how the hell did we do that!?! lol Sounds like you have a great hubby so that helps. My husband and I also did things not the "traditional way." Though we have 3 kids, we just got married last year! ha Life definitely knows how to throw ya some curve balls, but its all in the way you handle things! :) Your boy is adorable too! Thanks for sharing.

Ashley said...

It's great to be ambitious your kids will see and pick up on it and be ambitious themselves! :)

I was 23 when I had my first and having a kid takes a toll you feel soooo much older haha.

toi said...

look at those lovely deep blue eyes, cherry lips... he is too cute.



Kimberley T said...

Hey, I just found your blog via a guest post you did so now I'm your newest follower. I'm a young Mum and newly wed too (22 going on 23 with a 15 month old daughter) so I love to read posts from someone close in age with a little one too. From what I've read so far your really fun and have it completely together, I can't wait to read more of your posts.
Kim, kimt1989.blogspot.com

theunreallife said...

Something that's been comforting me during this crazy transitional time is just the constant reminder that you're not the only one feeling this. All of us recent grads are right there with you =) It's a great reminder to focus on this period and enjoy it for what it is--because someday it will be gone.

theunreallife said...

I think the most important thing to remember during this transitional time is that we're not alone! All us recent grads are facing the same struggles =) We'll work it out...the beauty's in the journey!