If you are here from Becky's, you can learn more about me
here, here, here, & here.
I've been in a reflecting mood lately.
Blame it on the holidays or the end of the semester, but I can't help but count my blessings lately.
I also can't help but observe all the changes my life has made in two years.
Okay, okay, last year was the BIG year of change.
Had a baby.
Married the love of my life...
But the changes right now are just as real.
I never knew just how much returning to school was going to turn things upside down.
My mom told John and I this past week that we need to
pat ourselves on the back every once & a while.
But when people tell us how great of a job we are doing, or wonder "how are you doing it all?"
We just shrug our shoulders.
It doesn't feel like anything special, this is just "life".
And does the craziness ever stop?
Is being a working mom of one any different than being a grad student mama of one?
Yes, I know it will be different, but will it be "easier".
Are people still going to be in awe that we are "surviving"?
Maybe it's because we are young.
Although 23 is starting to feel older and older to me each day.
Maybe it's the circumstances.
We started out as a "non traditional" family (Although that stigma still makes me cringe).
I know that I am ranting but I just feel like life is in such a transitional phase right now.
And I cannot stop wanting more.
To be done with school.
I know I am incredibly ungrateful for thinking I have the right to "want" when my life is so full.
But it is hard to stay present when life is so fluid right now.
There isn't one thing that is concrete.
And more changes are coming.
It's hard not to let me mind wander to the "could be" and the "if" and the "when"
Sometimes I have to remind myself to stay in the moment.
I owe it to Jack.
I will never get these days back with him.
He won't be this age forever...
I also owe it to my husband.
goes to work all day to be the SOLE provider for this family,
and comes home to cook dinner, do dishes, and be the BEST dad ever.
I know, I know, I married Superman.
It's not fair of me to want more when he is working so hard for what we already have.
For now I just need to be grateful for this life. This WONDERFUL life.
I need to focus on my daily growth! I am ever-changing too...
I want to be the best wife. The best mom. The best social worker... so many things.
Sometimes I just need to take a moment (or 10) to remind myself of that.